


Talk to Me, Felicity

by SufferHope_GracelessHeart



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alcohol is a must, Conversation in the dark, Conversations with Team Arrow, Especially on Wednesdays, Late Night Conversations, Team Arrow, The roof the roof the roof is on fire, alcohol preferences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:01:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1297441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SufferHope_GracelessHeart/pseuds/SufferHope_GracelessHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Conversations between Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen, guest starring Team Arrow. This is the set of drabbles set in my Talk to Me Universe, which is apparently becoming a thing that I write.</p><p>The first two chapters, while edited and slightly revamped, have been posted on Tumblr and at AO3 under a different name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Past Perfect, Present Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's mind wanders through an important moment with Oliver, that led to the important moment coming from her

"Talk to me, Felicity." 

Oliver was in bed, combing his hands through Felicity's hair, when he whispered four of her favorite words across her skin, running his fingers across her stomach. Second only to the way he said her name, Felicity loved to hear him say that more than almost anything in the world. It was both a reminder and a promise. The first time he said it, it had come through a haze of fear, Oliver trying to keep her calm while she had a bomb strapped around her neck. 

Over the course of their lives together, it became sort of a talisman for her, reminding her she had a place in their insane life that no one could fill but her - trusted with Oliver's secrets and his safety. Every time he spoke those words, Felicity was reminded that she was just as much Starling City's vigilante and protector as he was. It brought her back to the night when Oliver told her how important she was to Team Arrow, the night she felt a little lost and out of place, wondering if she really belonged in this world of heroes. 

_"Felicity, what are you talking about?"_

_"Oliver, come on. We both know no matter how much I train or how hard I work, I'm never going to be like you or Digg or even Roy or Sara." She looked up at him, frustration painted in every line on her face, written in every curve of her body. She looked past him into the night focusing the rooftops just beyond her vision. She'd come up here to get out of the Foundry to think, but looking out into the night where Oliver was so adept she was reminded of just how out of place she was.  "As much as I want to be out there on the front line, no matter what happens you are always going to have to worry about me being a liability on this team."_

_Oliver looked back at her in amazement and no small bit of anger, "Felicity, what did you think I meant when I said I rely on you? Do you think I admitted that for my health?"_

_"Oliver, I understand that I have a place on the team-"_

_He grabbed her and yanked her forward. "This-" he gestured around her "-this just doesn't work without you, Felicity._ We _don't work without you, Felicity." He looked up to the sky as if he were silently praying for strength and took a deep breath and began again slowly. "Apparently, I didn't make myself clear when I told you that you were my partner-"_

 _Felicity couldn't stand the look of disappointment on his face. What's worse is that it wasn't directed at_  her _. "Oliver-"_

_"No, Felicity, you need to listen," he said clearly, leaving Felicity with the impression that he was barely keeping himself in check, almost desperate in his need for her to hear him. "Do you know why I was so... distant when you came to Lian Yu?"_

_Felicity was a bit stunned by the subject change. "You knew we came to bring you home. You didn't want to come back here, to being the vigilante,"_ _she answered, a bit unsure in the face of his vehemence._

_Oliver took another deep, bracing breath. "That's...that's part of it, but Felicity, seeing you there in that place? It was like a nightmare come to life, for a lot of reasons. It still is." he laughed bitterly. "Knowing that you were there on that island, where so many had died-, where there were so many ways to die. I thought I would never be able to deal with that._

_"And then you were there, and it was a nightmare for a whole different reason, because I knew, as soon as I saw you that I was coming home."_

_Felicity shook her head in confusion "Digg's the one who got you-"_

_"Felicity, Digg would have left me there." he said bluntly. He let go of her hands and brushed her hair out of her face. "Digg had been where I was. He understood why I ran. If it had come down to it, he would have left me there on Lian Yu to deal with my demons alone, because he had demons, too."_

_Felicity's face fell. "I didn't mean to make you do something you weren't ready for, Oliver."_

_"I_ never _would have been ready, Felicity. I need you to push me. I need you to remind me that there is a world full of normal, good people out there. That I-_ we _live in the darkness so that they can live their lives in the comfort of the light. And that's just what you do for me, Felicity." He turned her around on the roof so that she looked out into a panorama of the city, its lights blazing out into the darkness._

_"The team, who we are, what we do? It would be impossible without you. It was one thing when I had the list. Then all I had to do was research the name and figure out a weakness, a point of egress for me to drop in, but now? We need to know about crime before it happens." He stepped forward to speak in her ear. "You're the one who connected with Lance. You're the one who researches, who finds the answer in a world of technology that I'm still a little lost in. You're in my ear telling me what I need to know before I even know that I need to know it. How can you not know how important you are?" He rested his head cheek to cheek against her own. "When I called you my partner, I thought I was just admitting something that you already knew..."_

 

"Why aren't you talking to me, Felicity?" Oliver whispered in her ear. He leveraged his body over her own and leaned down to kiss her shoulder and she smiled at the feeling of such a gentle touch in contrast to the weight of his body was resting on her. 

"I was thinking." She said as she stroked his back with her fingertips. Oliver laid down and propped his head just beneath her collarbone, tracing the dips and valleys from shoulder to shoulder, blowing tiny puffs of air across her skin and watching her react.

"About what?" He whispered into her skin, softly nipping and licking his way along the same gently curved line.

 _"_ How you say you love me."

Oliver paused briefly in his ministrations and then began to kiss her collarbone in earnest. He's never said- 

"Oliver," she said gently pulling his head up from her skin. "Hey, it's okay. You say it so many ways without using the words. The way you touch me, God, how you touch me. You tell me how you need me and how important I am. You never let me feel like there's something wrong with me, like I'm less. You ask me to talk to you when you're hurting and every time you say my name it's like you're speaking your own personal prayer." She brought his head forward with the hands that she had resting on his cheeks and kissed him softly once, twice, three times. 

"I love the way you love me, Oliver Queen, and I love you. And I am okay with being the one who says the words first because you've told me so many times without them." 


	2. We just don't do Wednesdays sober anymore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The roof has become the place to be for the original members of Team Arrow

After Felicity had a tiny mental breakdown on the roof of the Foundry and Oliver talked her down, any time she needed a minute to calm down and get her head on straight that's where she went. It also helped her with her completely justified agoraphobia, because really, balancing on a six inch wide ledge twenty-four stories in the air would knock anyone (okay, Oliver Queen, anyone _normal)_  for a loop. And somehow without realizing how she exactly did it or what kind of bizarre unspoken mental signals she sent out, it quickly became aware to everyone that if she was up there, the only people who could (or should) follow her or even attempt to get her down were Oliver Queen and John Diggle. 

Which explains why exactly Oliver found her sitting Indian-style on the roof with a full bottle of Patrón, a couple of limes, a full salt shaker and the knife he gave her when he finally kinda, sorta accepted the fact that he couldn't really keep her locked in the Foundry as much as he wanted to. 

"Felicity? Something I should know?" he asked quietly as he slowly approached where she was sitting. 

"Why would you ask that?" She said softly as she delicately sucked the pulse point on her wrist. Oliver took a deep breath at the unintentionally erotic sight and covered by lowering himself next to her and nodding to her various accoutrements for drinking. 

"Ah." she answered sagely just before she performed the rote action of taking a tequila shot. "Does the presence of alcohol necessarily mean that I am having a particular issue?" 

"Hmm." Oliver replied. He grabbed the bottle and took a small sip straight up. "Not the alcohol per se. The alcohol straight out of the bottle, on the roof..." 

"With the revolver?" Felicity finished. "Don't think I didn't notice you being a show off with the tequila, Mr. Queen." 

"How else am I suppose to impress you, Ms. Smoak?" He looked at her for a moment and then gently said, "Felicity."

"That's just not fair. You can't say my name like that while I'm drinking. Are you trying to incite a ramble?" 

Oliver laughed a bit and nudged her with his foot. Felicity tipped over to her side with her legs still perfectly crossed and used the motion to prop her legs on Oliver's outstretched ones. She was very proud of how developed her core strength was. Plus, the entire maneuver won an actual chuckle from Oliver. 

"It's nothing, really." She said looking up into the sky. "My mother called and it's been a long week Arrow wise and I needed to remember terrible, terrible coping mechanisms. It's been awhile, plus I like it up here." She took another deep breath. "It's also congratulatory, I guess." She made grabby hands for the tequila that Oliver was waving over her head. He rested it on her stomach and handed her the salt and the lime. 

"What are we celebrating, Ms Smoak? Oliver watched her put down the salt and fiddle with her phone for a moment before she turned back to start preparing for the next shot. 

"Have you ever realized that somewhere along the line your instinctual response to certain stimuli has changed and you didn't even realize when it happened?" Oliver leveled her with a friendly glare that said  _Felicity, I love you, I do, and you really are adorable but where the hell have_ you  _been for the past three years?_

"Right, look who I'm talking to. You are like, the poster child for instincts and bad choices and reactionary drama." She laughed to herself before taking a breath and looking Oliver straight in the eye. "And no, I am not apologizing for any of the words that came out of my mouth, Oliver, 'cause it's true and I'm not sober, so there." She said as she saluted him with the Patrón bottle. 

"Girl's got a point, Queen." a voice said from the door.

"Digg!" Felicity yelled. "Come, have tequila. Make bad choices!" Digg walked over to Felicity and squatted down near her head. 

"Not that I have a problem with drinking, but why on the roof?" he asked delicately tilting her head in his direction.

"The stars. And my mother. And the fact that my mother didn't send me into a tailspin of self-doubt and agony." She handed Digg the bottle. "All she really got out of me was 'Eh, meh.' I was rather proud." 

He shook his head at the tequila and brought a bottle from behind his back. "I prefer Jack." he said kindly tapping her head with the bottle as Felicity's face scrunched up in disgust.

"Was there some kind of memo I missed?" Oliver asked as he stroked the top of Felicity's legs with one hand and reached for the bottle of whiskey with the other.

Felicity brought up a text and held up her phone.  _I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore._ Felicity did a shot and laid her head on Digg's calf. Felicity looked dismayed for a moment before Digg placed the lime in her mouth because she was obviously too lazy to do it herself. 

"Ah." Oliver answered. "Enough said." 


	3. The people and places that we call our own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all scars are visible, in fact, often the worst ones aren't.

This was the third time Oliver had found her sleeping on the roof. The first two times he had gently woken her up and sent her home. _Third time’s the charm,_ he thought. This time he’d talk to her and find out why she was frequenting the roof so often. Oliver lifted her head so it rested on his lap, petting her hair to soothe her back into sleep once he got her comfortable enough. At an almost soundless shift of gravel Oliver carefully drew his knife and gently shifted over Felicity.

“Stand down, soldier.” Sara’s voice came out of the darkness. “I just came up to tell you that we were leaving.”

“We’ll be right behind you as soon as she wakes up.” Oliver said as he put his knife away. “She keeps falling asleep up here.” He said shaking his head.

“I’ve noticed she wanders up here when she’s…frustrated.” Sara said crouching next to her. “When she comes back down, she’s more _her_.” Sara said her hands reaching out to mimic Oliver’s motion, obviously perplexed at the contradiction that was Felicity Meghan Smoak.  

Sara had caught Diggle looking at her with a shade of confusion and pity on his face whenever Oliver got like this. To the contrary, this was nothing like what happened with Laurel. Oliver couldn’t help seeking Felicity out. Sara understood because she did the same, whenever she felt the shadows clawing their way back to the forefront of her mind. Sin was good for the same thing, but unlike her and Oliver, Sin had grown up hard.  She was good at hiding it, but it came out in the worst moments and sometimes Sara had to drag _her_ back into the light.

“I wouldn’t be worried if she was just frustrated.” Oliver said quietly. “She’s hasn’t been coming up here to take a breath. She’s been passing out up here.”

Sara leaned back at looked at Oliver. “I know you don’t like seeing her like this, but you need to face that it may not be something you can fix, Ollie.”

Oliver smiled at her, eyes glassy, a fed-up, exhausted sort of a smile that twisted Sara’s heart more than it comforted her. “I know. But she taught me that giving fear a voice can help more than arrows can upon occasion.” He said, mimicking Felicity’s occasionally prim tone. “If she hasn’t come up with a solution yet, I kind of doubt I will.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t try.” Sara finished for him. Sara kissed him on his forehead and squeezed Felicity’s shoulder, as Felicity unconsciously moved into the touch. “Give her my love, Ollie.”

Sara decided to stay off of the roof for awhile. Sometimes, friends need a place to call their own. 

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver watched Sara as she shut the door leading back to Verdant and resumed running his fingers through Felicity’s hair. As he heard her footsteps echo through the building, he turned to look down at the woman currently perched in his lap.

“You can open your eyes now, Felicity,” he said, laying his other hand on her shoulder so she couldn’t sit up, “No, just stay here,” He said in a soothing tone. “I have a feeling you need the rest. You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Felicity’s eyes focused on Oliver’s face. “How’d you know?” she asked quietly. Whether she mean that she wasn't sleeping at home or she wasn't sleeping the entire time he was talking to Sara, Oliver just shrugged. Felicity shook her head at him at him in exasperation, folded her hand underneath her head and shifted until she was something that could be called comfortable. That was the thing about Oliver. He could be incredibly oblivious sometimes, but once he realized he needed to be paying attention, his focus became laser sharp. It was like being under a microscope.

“Felicity,” he said, in that _please, just talk to me_ voice he got sometimes.

“What would you do if I said it was nothing?” She asked.

“I would say that I thought we didn’t lie to each other.” He responded without hesitation, “I would say that I’m your friend and I waited for you to come to me on your own with whatever’s going on and you haven’t and it’s affecting you. I would say if there wasn’t anything wrong then you wouldn’t still be on my lap because you’re so exhausted that you need the comfort. No-,” Felicity moved to get up again and Oliver laid his arm across her shoulders,. “Felicity, _stop.”_

He softly turned her so she was lying on her back with his arm lightly resting along the line of her collarbone. “You know you can talk to me, Felicity. Just... breathe. And we’ll stay here all night until you do.” He said, threading his fingers back through her hair. She might have been able to deflect him earlier, but after seeing her almost devolve into a panic attack Oliver was resolved to stay here with her until she was okay.

Felicity nodded and turned to her side slow enough that Oliver’s hands weren’t dislodged. He could hear the tiny sniffles she tried to hide and they broke his heart, but he didn’t push.

“Slade Wilson,” she said softly. Oliver’s entire body tensed at the name. “See? You have your own demons to deal with there. How can I ask you to take on mine?”

“ _Because_ you did it for me, Felicity. He stalked all of us because of what Sara and I hid from him and you and Digg stood by me every step of the way until he was dead.” Even that sentence spoke of how much Felicity took on. When he finally told her the entire story of Shado and Ivo, Felicity beat it into his head that he had done nothing but try to save Shado _and_ Sara. “So tell me what’s bothering you so much that you won’t even go home to sleep?”

“Do you remember that last night? The bad night?” Oliver rested his head against her shoulder and nodded in to her skin. “Digg brought me home to change, so he stayed in the living room and which, by the way, is how it should be. I mean, he checked my bedroom and the closet and my bathroom. He did the “Clear,” thing and everything.” Even propped up sideways, Felicity’s hands were gesticulating, if not at her normal verve, wildly for anyone else. It made Oliver smile, but his heart was still stuttering a bit, because he was afraid he knew what she was going to say next.

“I don’t know how, but I had just finished changing and I was just about to leave and he was there, in my home with his hand over my mouth. “ Oliver turned Felicity onto her back again, and when she finally met his eyes she answered the look on his face, what he couldn’t quite bring himself to say. “No, he didn’t hurt me. I almost wish he had. He offered me an _out_ , Oliver. He told me he was going to kill everyone in your life and leave you standing, alone, in pieces. He told me he felt sorry that someone like me had gotten caught in your wake and I deserved a chance to walk away.”

“And you thought about it.” Oliver replied _, better to get it all out now_ , he thought silently.

He watched her face break. “Yeah, for about a second- which was about a second too long.” She said in a voice full of self loathing, turning her face away from Oliver’s eyes on hers.

“Good.” Oliver said forcefully. “You should have. That’s the reason I didn’t know about this already, isn’t it? You were scared I would try to get you to go, right?” he finished, brushing her tears away from her face. After they were cleared away, he grasped her face in his palms. “Felicity, I need you to look at me. _Look at me._ ”

Felicity dodged his eyes as long as she could, before raising her eyes defiantly towards his.

“Hey.” He said something that could almost qualify as a smile. “There you are. Do you know what would have happened if you told me what he had said?” At Felicity’s small headshake, he continued. ”I would have tried to get you to go. Digg might have even agreed. And you? You would have flayed us alive for even considering it.”

Felicity gently moved her head out of Oliver’s hands, “You don’t know that, Oliver.”

“Yes, I do.” He replied sternly, speaking before she had even finished her sentence. “Your life, your choice,” he said, reminding her of the phrase she used every time she volunteered to do something dangerous. Oliver resumed his calming touch.

“I understand why he did what he did. “ Oliver said, fingers threading through her hair.Of course, he hit her in the worst place possible, insinuating that she was weak and not worth hurting. That she was just a little, useless girl caught up in the hype of Oliver Queen. It had a twisted sort of methodology he could almost see the poetry in if it hadn't hurt Felicity so damn much. “Slade, I mean, you probably reminded him of Shado, a little. But that’s not the most important reason, it's not the real reason he did it. If you left, none of us would be here today. And not because you weren’t running tech,” Oliver clarified, cutting off that line of thought before Felicity could even go down it. 

“You having hope? It gets me-, _us_ through the day. If you had left, everything would have been just a little bit dimmer. Taking that kind of precaution makes sense, but some part of me would have always believed you left because you thought we would fail, because you didn’t think we were strong enough to get through this together. You make me, you make all of us stronger, _better_.” He kissed her forehead, “So thank you for staying. We will have a discussion on another day about you not telling me that when homicidal maniacs show up at your home, which I think is the actual reason you’ve been dozing off up here, yes?”

“The mind-numbing guilt probably didn’t help much, but no, I haven’t been able to sleep in my bedroom for weeks.” Felicity mumbled, sort of burrowing down on Oliver’s leg, attempting to get comfortable. “I’ve been crashing on the couch for the most part.”

“Feel better? “

“A little, I guess. Still don’t want to go home.” 

“You realize I’m going with you, right?”

Felicity nodded.  “So one being you just take me home to ten being you actually move in with me, where exactly on the scale would you place your reaction to this news?”

“Solid eight, maybe eight point five?”

“How are you going to explain this to the girl you are currently almost kinda sorta living with?”

“I will tell her that you are my friend and you need me right now.”  He tapped Felicity’s temple and looked down at her face. “You know if you told her she’d be right there with me, right?

“Doesn’t mean I want her to know. Digg, maybe. It’s not that she’s not my friend…”

“No, I get it.” Oliver said quickly. “It’ll be fine. I think she like you more than me anyway.”

“Do you want to go ahead and go?” Felicity asked quietly.

“Let’s stay awhile.” Oliver replied, just as quiet. “I like it up here.”


End file.
